Monday, March 17, 2008

Cornered.

When I started my blog, just under a year ago, I never realized that I would quickly begin to feel cornered as a “Diabetes Blogger”. This feeling sometimes causes me to think I’m breaking unwritten diabetes blogging rules when I dip into other aspects of my life. Although you probably know more about certain parts of my personal life than people I consider to be my friends (IRL), I can't help but feel that you don't know me at all. This blog gives me the opportunity to present the world with whatever pieces of me that I choose, but I feel like I'm not being myself. I rarely talk about diabetes in real life, it's just a small part of who I am. I need to allow my real self to be displayed, and I don't know if a diabetes blog is the way to go about doing that.
I constantly contemplate leaving this blog to start a more general one. I want to blog about more than being a 16 year old girl with Type 1 Diabetes. But at the same time I don’t want to leave behind the support that is so willingly extended without hesitation from one d-blogger to another. I still want to share my story, however simple it might be. I want to give those “anonymous lurker moms” a little hope that their children will be able to make it through childhood and the teen years in spite of a Type 1 diagnosis. I need to find a way to be more than a girl with diabetes, because I really am a lot more than that.

I'm just feeling conflicted, and I wouldn't be surprised if I decide to run off to blog about politics, pop culture, being biracial, or my shoe collection someday.

Suggestions to resolving this problem are welcome, because I obviously can't figure it out.

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

10 comments:

Ashley said...

I totally agree. My blog is becoming more of a journal. My daily experience, interspersed with chunks of diabetes here and there. Vented frustrations and joyful accomplishments.

I have type 1 diabetes, but I also have a real honest to goodness life. I feel like maybe in blogging about life as I experience it, I'll help people just the same.

Don't know if that helps.. but trying gets points right? :)

Jillian said...

Ashley you definitely get points!

landileigh said...

i read your blog, not to know what a type 1 teenager would say and think, but to know what a teenager would say and think. i want to know about your shoe collection, and the rest of you. diabetes is such a small part of the incredible young woman that you are. i love seeing the insight, as i have an 18 year old daughter myself, and so little does she let me into her life.

Hannah said...

I try to blog about whatever I feel like, but I definitely was writing in my LiveJournal way before I started Dorkabetic. It kind of works in two ways. One, I don't want to bother my regular friends with talking about my diabetes all the time. Two, I don't want my d-blog friends not knowing anything about me.

I think D-Blogging is quite the double edged sword. But hey, a lot of us definitely write about diabetes and then write about our real lives.

Scott said...

I think to some extent, we all feel like that sometimes. My response would be to blog whatever you feel like, just give it a keyword so people can sift through stuff they may not want to read through (though I'm not an expert on automating that via rss feeds, someone should be able to figure it out). Don't let this box you into a particular subject so you blog only about a particular subject (in this case, diabetes), as we're all people with diverse lives and interests!

Colleen said...

Well, I happen to enjoy your "real life" stuff. As others wrote, we are more than diabetes.
I also think that parents of young children w/ diabetes, will find it wonderful that a teen - who happens to have diabetes - leads a somewhat normal life with her diabetes.
You're a bright, fascinating young lady and I've enjoyed getting to know you, even if it's just a small part of you!

Donna said...

I understand what you mean abuot wanting to help moms of kids with diabetes see that a person can enjoy a regular life with diabetes & not be worried so much about the bad diabetes stuff.

I really enjoy your blog - whether you're talking about diabetes or your life or your dogs or whatever. You have a lot to offer. Thanks for sharing it with us.

Shannon said...

My posts aren't always about diabetes.

Write about whatever you want. I, for one, would like to know what your life is like, and the fact that it can be "ordinary", despite having diabetes.

YOU make the rules for what is on your blog.

Anonymous said...

Hey Jillian, I would love to here your political views and your book reviews. I can already see how those conversations will go...I think we will agree a lot! Thank you.

Jillian said...

Landileigh, the shoe collection and all other things will quickly be incorporated! I'm glad to give you a glimpse into the mind of a teenager. I'm anything but typical though so my ideas don't usually align with the general teen public.

Hannah, I guess I just feel like I'm not supposed to go too far out on a limb because it's a "diabetes blog". Screw it.

Scott, I'm breaking free from the box!

Collen, you are so sweet. It's so hard to choose what to share but I'm glad you've enjoyed it.

Donna, thanks! I just hope that whatever I write that is diabetes related can help one person. I know how hard living with this disease can be, but there are still so many other aspects of life.

Shannon, thanks for the reassurance. I'll get working on some ordinary life posts just for you!

Anon, I wish I knew who you were!
I would be a terrible book reviewer. Books leave me scatter brained, and I loose all the details very quickly. My politics are so complicated. I've been described as a religious conservative without the religion with a lot of liberal tendencies.