Weekend Recap.

First, thank you for all the happy birthday wishes!

I had a wonderful time celebrating with my friends Friday evening. When my friend, Kelly, suggested celebrating a few weeks ago, I wasn't really up for it. But somewhere between the waitress who told me that seventeen is a great year and passing my birthday ice cream around the table, my mindset changed. It's no longer the fact that these things might be occurring for the last time. It's enjoying the moments and hoping that the memories will last forever. For once I feel as though things are just getting started instead of coming to a close. I can see my options now and I'm ready to start working towards a more positive future. I can only hope that the waitress was right and that seventeen will be a very good year.

(From my birthday dinner, I'm second from the right.)


Saturday, I celebrated with my best friend (again) for her big birthday dinner. I was able to see a lot of old friends, an added bonus to an already great evening.

Sunday came and passed with no mention of my anniversary. I thought about the fact that twelve years had passed for about three seconds then went on with my day. I just really prefer to silently acknowledge it and move on.

Today is my mom's birthday. Happy birthday, Mom! I know you're reading this, don't worry I won't share your age with the entire internet. I love you!

Double Dose

Growing up seems to be this weeks theme...


Today is my seventeenth birthday.

Sunday is my twelfth D-anniversary.

I was five years old when I was diagnosed with Diabetes. At that age words like forever don’t exactly factor into the equation. It was more about that day or that week, and the future was a cloudy picture that didn’t mean much. When I was younger I never thought about the fact that I would get to my seventeenth birthday with Diabetes in tow. It’s not as though I thought I wouldn’t have Diabetes by seventeen, it’s just that the idea never really crossed my mind. But in the past few years as that cloudy future seemed to be inching closer, Diabetes became a part of that bigger picture too. I started to ponder what Diabetes would mean in my relationships, a career, and just everyday life. All of this is a part of growing up. My future isn’t set in stone, but now I can clearly see that Diabetes will play a role. Birthdays and anniversaries are life’s mile markers, and it’s bittersweet that two of mine fall so close to each other. With each birthday I am a step further into my future and whatever that may bring, but a part of me also pauses to remember that each birthday in the future will involve this disease. Tonight I will celebrate with friends laughing, smiling, enjoying. Sunday will come as a reminder of my trying years with diabetes and as a little spark of hope that maybe, just maybe one day my birthday won’t be a reminder of my Diabetes.

P.S. As I finished writing this, the Jonas Brothers', "A Little Bit Longer" started playing on my iTunes...

P.P.S. For the record that is the only Jonas Brothers song I have on iTunes.

A few bits and joining the project!

I have decided to join the Diabetes 365 Flickr Group Project.

Here is my first picture.

It symbolizes my last full week (Monday - Sunday) on injection therapy. As of next Friday I will be a pumper!

• I'm very curious about my pump start, Monday the 22nd. I know all doctor's do it differently, but I would love to hear about other pumper's experiences.
• I have been toying around with my pump to get familiar with it. I have watched almost all of the training videos on the Cozmo website.
• I have broken down 2 infusion sets just to see how everything really works.
  
• I am just ready for it all to start!!!
• I apologize for the absence I was busy getting ready to go away to Pennsylvania for my Grandfather's 80th birthday party! Which turned out perfectly. Here is a picture of a farm near their house.
  

• Now I'm off to do some school work, which I have definitely been slacking on. That will have to end soon, because this week I am being officially un-enrolled from my former school. No more safety net.
  
• These next few weeks are going to be full of new adventures, I hope you are ready for the ride!
  

Happy Birthday Élise!

Élise is my big sister for those of you who don't know. Today she is turning 23. She asked me if I was going to write a post about her today. Like the one I wrote for my mom on her birthday. The thing is it never crossed my mind, I never really thought of her involvement with my diabetes the same way as my mom's. From what I can remember, she wasn't really involved in the beginning. I know she was there, but she was 11 when I was diagnosed. So I don't think she participated in the daily ins and outs. My memories of her involvement are vague. I remember she was at the hospital in her school uniform everyday after school. I know it must have been hard to witness my wild reactions to the shots when we came home. I can't even imagine how crazy I must have seemed or how scary it must have been. Once recently she mentioned to me that she was jealous of how much attention I received when I was younger. I don't blame her, I think it would suck to be the sibling of a diabetic kid. Diabetes is a selfish disease that can take away alot from the other members of the family. For our extended family type 1 diabetes was so novel, and I am sure Élise was left in the background for many years because of this. Eventually Élise became the only other person besides my mom, I would let give me shots. But it hasn't been until recently that I have even talked to her about diabetes regularly. She helped me through choosing a pump, read the booklets, looked at the pictures, and even explained to my mom why it had to be the Cozmo not the Animas. We have grown up so much over the years, and gone through many trying times together. I can't imagine any of this without her though, even if I don't remember the beginning. I love you Élise! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Ps. If you are lurking, de-lurk. I cannot get the little button to work so if you want to see it go here.

For my mom.

Today is my mom’s birthday and I just want to write something for her to thank her for always being there when it comes to my D-Life. Happy Birthday Mom!

I just want to tell you how much you mean to me. For so long you were my lifeline, I depended on you for not only love but my life. I remember the nights you spent sleeping in my hospital room when I was diagnosed. The night of your birthday was spent with me instead of celebrating with others. You are always there to protect me and guide me through the tough times. We have had a lot of rough patches, and yet we are still moving along in our lives. We had years when going to the doctor was not possible, because the doctor never had appointments, I was too stubborn, or things were just too bad in other areas. I thank you for letting me find my own way with this D-thing, but still making sure I was okay. This day 11 years ago you were in my hospital room or somewhere in Children’s Hospital learning how to keep me alive. Something a mother should never have to do, most kids just need love. I needed your bravery, and I know those early years of shots probably hurt your heart more than they ever hurt my body. I know it was hard. I know that watching me fight off nurses trying to draw my blood was terrible. I want you to know that I am so thankful that you never gave up on me and stuck by me, making me the young woman I am today. I love you mom! I know I make you proud everyday, but you make me proud everyday too!

Decisions, Decisions!

Fun birthday! Lunch with the parentals, test drove some cars! Well okay I wasn't driving them, my dad was...but whatever. Looks like when the time comes I will be getting a Scion xB, you know the little box car you see scooting down the road, dream car number two. The first dream is a Mini Cooper, but that is out of the price range. So we get home from a wonderful dinner, and there are a few birthday messages on the answering machine. Along with one from the good old Infamous Endo, "Hi this is Dr. Infamous, I just wanted to make sure you really want to go with the Animas, okay thanks call me back so we can talk about it!" Okay Dr. Infamous, you have already planted seeds of doubt about my Animas dreams, I sent you the paper work to make sure... And then you call. So okay fine fine. I look it all over again. Go to the websites, look at the comparison chart. Fine tomorrow we will send in the Cozmo one, to tell you the truth I only didn't want it because I wanted the color screen of the Animas. But it is stupid not to go with a pump that basically will do the same things for me, covers my major concerns (waterproof, luer-lock, 300 units). So what is this change of heart number 45!? Well I guess with age comes wisdom! Cozmo it is!

PS. Thanks to everyone who wished me a happy birthday it means alot. I haven't been returning comments, but I will get to everyone individually! Good Night!

Sweet Sixteen!

Well according to my family it's not official until this evening. But hey I'm 16 today! On the diabetes front I had 5 birthdays until my little world was turned upside down. The plan for the day is school work, lunch with the parental units, and then the whole afternoon at an autopark!! No, I am not getting a car for my birthday, but a girl can dream. For now I'll settle for my favorite present my new digital camera. Have a fabulous day everyone! I know I will.