Who let the dogs out?

I warn you my blood sugar is 66mg/dL right now. So the following is complete and utter nonsense, but hey it's Friday so who cares...

It's not news that the OC is full of some "cute" little kitties. But the time has come for the dog lover's of the OC to unite! Siah and her feline pals are on the verge of world (or at least OC) domination. Seriously Siah might just put her hat in the race for president. It must stop! So today I present my contribution to the OC pet world. Massimo & Finnegan, perhaps some of the best dogs out there. Dog lovers don't forget we also have Donna's cute pups and the amazing Dixie on our side.

Massimo.

Massimo & Finnegan.

Finnegan.

Note to self.

Do NOT check someone else's symptoms on WebMD (without that person's approval). Especially if that someone is your mother, you will find something terrible. It will lead to a sleepless night and stomach pain. Just wait until the doctor calls with the results. There is no need to scare yourself. Hopefully it isn't what WebMD and everyone else thinks it is. I know I'm being cryptic, I just don't want to talk about it until I know more. WebMD is no longer my friend.

I'll be back later.

I've become...

One of those weird home schooled kids.
It kind of freaks me out.

I have entire friendships that exist completely on the internet.
Don’t worry. I’m not talking about To Catch A Predator chat room friendships.

I’ve realized that Facebook creates a strange dynamic.
First it allows me to “stalk” people who I am no longer friends with. We’re talking elementary school friends and the boy I used to like. It’s horrible, I feel so creepy even admitting that.
It also has the ability to bridge the gap between myself and people I would never have been friends while we were classmates at my former school. It’s amazing how much a change in your “status” can draw people to your page. I’ve bonded with people over things like Juno, political views, and similar musical taste. In that respect it’s pretty fun.

Oh and let’s not forget the bloggers. It’s really weird to me that there are people I consider to be my "friends" who I’ve never met and are way older than me.

I’m actually slightly excited about my school prospects. (Shhh… don’t tell my mom or she’ll start bombarding me with questions.) At my old school it felt like I was going through the motions, stuck into a mold and a specific set of curriculum guidelines. Now I can see the options and all the possibilities that I have in regards to courses and my future. It’s a bit freeing.

I’ve starting writing in these little notebooks. One is for blog ideas, the other is for little ideas that come to me. I’ve never been a “writer”, I still don’t even think I am. I don’t like poetry, and now I’m writing things that are basically in that creative writing poetry realm. Writing used to feel like a chore and something I just did for a grade. It’s all less stifling, and I’m actually learning new things about myself.

Obviously the next logical step is joining some strange religious cult, right?

(I'm working on a new template, bare with the random hideousness you may encounter when you visit the blog through out the next few days.)

The 6th Sense.

Don’t worry, I don’t see dead people.

I do however have an innate sense about my blood sugar. Without a test I can guesstimate where I am, so a test never really brings a surprising result. Don’t worry I never rely on just the feeling, I’m a frequent tester. Some would say too frequent.

My 6th sense has always been based on little clues from my body. The earliest one I can remember is a shaking right leg at age 7. Lately this sense has been failing me. The signs have been changing, and apparently my body forgot to inform me that a new boss was in town.

The surge of heat I usually feel to warn me of a low now means nothing. The feeling of my hands being under a cold blow dryer, has lost it's accuracy. I’m not jolting out of my sleep through the night in my test, juice, repeat mode. Instead of being irritable I’m talkative. It’s now all about groggy middle of the night lows, and zoning out at 55mg/dL during the day.

The dry mouth isn’t a sign of a high, instead I’ve been feeling this weird weight on my chest. Headaches have never really been a definite cue, but now they are a sign of absolutely nothing. Highs aren’t making me sleepy, I’m still able to function. I’m feeling hyperglycemic starting at 150mg/dL, instead of over 200mg/dL.

It’s all very strange. I wasn’t ready for it. But as usual change is the name of the game when it comes to Type 1 Diabetes. I’ve been taking the “test don’t guess," motto to the extreme. It’s safe to say my poor fingers have taken a beating because of this. Just in case the old signs don’t come back, I’m learning the new ones. If the 6^th sense is ready to change, I’ll just have to do the same.

Because I shot myself in the foot.

After yesterday's post, in which I feel I came across as telling people how to be parents. I've decided that an explanation of sorts is in order. In no way did I intend to offend anyone that read that post. I decided to share my feelings, just as everyone else uses their blogs to express to whatever they need to. I wasn't specifically speaking of anyone, and to tell you the truth it's not so much the blogging parents. I did not intend for you to think I called your children damaged goods. In fact I meant to call them the opposite of that. I was trying to express that sometimes the words sting for me, although I'm not sure why. I know they are words about a terrible disease not me or your children.
Anyway, I've decided to put my foot in my mouth.


So I present a funny SNL clip that is related to this little meme of sorts...


The Inside the Actor's Studio closing questions.

I've always wanted to answer them. So here goes.


What is your favorite word? Possibility

What is your least favorite word? The "N" word, in any of it's various spellings or uses.

What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally? I love intelligent discussion, specifically when someone has an opposing view point from my own.

What turns you off creatively, spiritually or emotionally? Dishonesty.

What sound or noise do you love? My dogs running into my room, their little feet make this cute noise on the hardwood floor.

What sound or noise do you hate? That screeching cat sound...I hate cats (I just keep digging my hole deeper with OC people).

What is your favorite curse word? I'll admit it. I drop the F* bomb occasionally, but I'm working on eliminating that habit.

What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Being a mother, of course not right now though.

What profession would you not like to do? A phlebotomist, have I mentioned that I hate blood?

If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
Told you so.

Have a good weekend and if you've got snow/ice like we do in Maryland, stay safe!
Feel free to take this!

Damaged Goods.

I will preface this post with the fact that some of you may not like what I have to say, and this is a borderline rant. I will also remind you that this is my personal place for my opinion, and that I know by posting this I give you the ability to respond in whatever way you see fit. Here goes…

As a whole I think I have gained a lot from the various online Diabetes resources. I’ve gotten information about pumps, tricks to fix hyperglycemia, and support from people who have never even met me.

While those are all great things, each time I stumble upon a post in a blog or forum about how much a parent hates diabetes, I feel hurt. Not only for me, but for those parents and children. I know that it’s not an easy disease to live with or manage. I know that it pains a parent to look in the eyes of their child while they are struggling with a low. I certainly know the terror and exhaustion that each shot or infusion set change can bring to everyone involved. But what I don’t know is why every time I read a post like this, I feel like I’m not good enough. I feel like damaged goods. Like we should all be traded in for the new improved functioning islet cell model.
I usually know that I am good enough. I'm healthier and stronger than a lot of people. I'm lucky. These posts break me down, and chip away at my attitude.

I want to scream, “If this is the only thing that’s wrong with your child, it’s not that bad!” I’ll admit that I don’t know what it’s like to be a mother or father and diabetes caregiver. But I do know what it’s like to grow up with this disease and now manage it on my own. There are definitely aspects that are completely terrible, but put that in perspective with the fact that there are so many other things that could be wrong in life. Each person is truly a miracle, there is no other word for it. To make it into the world and only have diabetes be what’s wrong, is quite amazing as far as I’m concerned. I really don’t know where I’m going with this. I just hope that these opinions are not being expressed in front of the children with this disease. I can only imagine how much damage that could cause, because it hurts me to read the words about a disease I also have. I’ve formed my own opinion about living with disease, and I hope that other children out there are able to do to this without the outside influence of their parents or other onlookers.

*2/21/08 2:45 PM Revision. After an email chat with Shannon.*

I know that it's not easy. When you are a parent you only want the best for your children, I get that. I guess what I'm trying to say is that your children should be okay, there are so many examples in the blogging community of happy, healthy adults living successfully with Type 1 Diabetes.

I just hope you can find peace with this disease for your own sake.

Behold the Magic 8!

Taken from the lovely Kerri, because I felt like a new post was in order but I don't feel like thinking today.

8 Things I’m Passionate About (in no particular order).
1. Crafts
2. Movies
3. Music
4. My friends
5. Being honest
6. Taking pictures
7. Getting to know myself
8. Politics

8 Things I Want to Do Before I Die.
1. Have a child
2. Live in Hawaii
3. Fall in love
4. Drive a car on the Autobahn
5. Make a difference
6. Learn to play guitar
7. Visit each U.S. State
8. See at least one set of the 7 Wonders of the World.

8 Things I Say Often.
1. "Come on."
2. "Okay."
3. "I think..."
4. "Juice box"
5. "Where's my tail?"
6. "I need to clean."
7. "Shower time."
8. "Puppies!"

8 Books I’ve Read Recently.
1. The Bluest Eye - Toni Morrison (started last night)
2. East of Eden - John Steinbeck (it fell under my bed and I never retrieved it...)
3. All American Girl - Meg Cabot (teen trash)
4. This Lullaby - Sarah Dessen (more teen stuff)
5. What Remains - Caroline Radziwill
6. Nick & Nora's Infinite Playlist - Rachel Cohen (It's going to be a movie staring Michael Cera, so I had to read it.)
7. There have probably been others I just can't remember titles.I'm ashamed to say I haven't been reading as many books recently. I've just been too lazy or I haven't actually finished them.


8 Songs I Could Listen to Over and Over.
1. Die Alone - Ingrid Michaelson
2. Anyone Else But You - The Moldy Peaches (Yes from Juno)
3. The Only Promise That Remains - Reba McEntire & Justin Timberlake
4. Carolina In My Mind - James Taylor
5. Hallelujah - Jeff Buckley
6. The Fear You Won't Fall - Joshua Radin
7. The Heart of Life - John Mayer
8. Higher Ground - Stevie Wonder

8 Things That Attract Me to My Best Friends.
1. They accept me.
2. They are creative.
3. We're different.
4. I can sit in a room with them and not feel the need to talk.
5. I know they'll always be there.
6. They tell me when I'm wrong.
7. They don't mind that I don't like to talk on the phone.
8. They know I'm opinionated and honest.

People I Think Should Do Crazy 8s.
1. Feel free to take it.