I'm all about support and carbs! or DBW Day 3&4

Sorry I missed yesterday. I was coming off a 72 hour final paper writing session, and all I wanted to do was sleep when I got home from class. Yesterday was all about support. Here's my two cents:

I have a love hate relationship with support in all arenas of my life. Seriously. It's bad. I'm the first one to help any of my friends in times of trouble, but don't ever expect me to ask a single one of them for a thing. Some people are just givers. My parents think I'm a pushover. I disagree. Anyway, I'll get to my point.
My biggest D supporters are my mom, sister, and the D-OC. In the beginning my mom was the only person I allowed to give me shots or participate in the management of my diabetes. She did what she could given the circumstances often going above and beyond, she kept me alive. I'll always be grateful for what she's done for me over the years. Never pushing too hard, always letting me have my say even if I was probably wrong. Letting me lean on her for as long as I needed to. Sometimes I still look to her as a guide. We have gone from my complete dependence on her, to her saying things like; "You know what is best, I trust you'll make the right decision." Then, a few years ago I stumbled upon a blog. I can't remember whose it was, but I know what I was looking for. I was thinking about going on a pump. I wanted more information, from real people. I felt like I was reading about old friends, with stories just like mine. So I did what any logical person would do...joined in! It was one of the greatest decisions I've ever made for my diabetes management. I credit the D-OC with so much of my success. I never knew that a simple google search would lead me to a community of people who care from miles and miles away.

Today:

Okay. To put it simply. I eat carbs. I do what I can to cut them out, but I'm not one of those "OMG this massive amount of insulin is going to kill me AHHH the carbs" kind of people. I eat what I want, to a certain extent. I always drink diet drinks, but I rarely eat anything labeled "sugar free". I don't like straight bread & butter, but I'm not opposed to sandwiches. I like ice cream, but I don't eat it often. I like chocolate, and I eat it more than I probably "should". I hate vegetables. I don't even like fruit. I have a very limited diet. I've got issues with food texture. I occasionally read labels, but I've got carb counts memorized for my staple foods. I eat pizza. I like Chinese food. I really don't know what I would eat if I tried to eliminate carbs. It works for me. "Let me eat carbs! And Cake! And wash it all down with Diet Coke!" I'm all about whatever works. So don't hesitate to invite me over to your house for a low carb dinner. I won't even expect you to supply the Diet Coke, I always bring my own!

Off to write another 5 page paper! Maybe I'll see you tomorrow.

A Day In The Life...The Routine Sounds.

You know the sounds, the ones you have become deaf to. The familiar movements, you could do them with your eyes closed, in the dark, one hand tied behind your back. The steps for a blood sugar test. I've done this 11 times in the past 24 hours.

5:06 PM Zip. Pop. Shake. Snap. Slide. Beep. Pull. Click. Squeeze. Beep. Count. Beep. 164.
6:38 PM Zip. Pop. Shake. Snap. Slide. Beep. Pull. Click. Squeeze. Beep. Count. Beep. 157.
8:57 PM Zip. Pop. Shake. Snap. Slide. Beep. Pull. Click. Squeeze. Beep. Count. Beep. 92.
11:50 PM Zip. Pop. Shake. Snap. Slide. Beep. Pull. Click. Squeeze. Beep. Count. Beep. 104.
6:21 AM Zip. Pop. Shake. Snap. Slide. Beep. Pull. Click. Squeeze. Beep. Count. Beep. 205.
7:29 AM Zip. Pop. Shake. Snap. Slide. Beep. Pull. Click. Squeeze. Beep. Count. Beep. 139.
8:20 AM Zip. Pop. Shake. Snap. Slide. Beep. Pull. Click. Squeeze. Beep. Count. Beep. 83.
9:52 AM Zip. Pop. Shake. Snap. Slide. Beep. Pull. Click. Squeeze. Beep. Count. Beep. 118.
11:30 AM Zip. Pop. Shake. Snap. Slide. Beep. Pull. Click. Squeeze. Beep. Count. Beep. 234.
3:16 PM Zip. Pop. Shake. Snap. Slide. Beep. Pull. Click. Squeeze. Beep. Count. Beep. 136
5:05 PM Zip. Pop. Shake. Snap. Slide. Beep. Pull. Click. Squeeze. Beep. Count. Beep. 218

Those are just the numbers. Here are the thoughts...

5PM - 9PM...I should change my site before I eat that Chinese food. Why is Chinese so delicious, but so annoying to deal with when it comes to blood sugar. I hope I don't take too much or too little insulin. I hate when my blood sugar fluctuations make me sleepy. Ugh I really need to get a dent into this 2,500 word essay. My blood sugar feels low, I think I'll drink some orange juice....
9PM -12AM...I hate school. This paper is a waste. I feel a little fuzzy. 104 Oh my blood sugar isn't low? Weird. I'll turn my pump down a bit anyway. I'm going to bed.
12AM -6AM... Toss and turn...blood sugar is probably on the rise from turning my pump down. 5 more minutes of sleep. 205 Damn. I knew it. Why do I always do this?! Correct!!
6AM-10AM... Ugh I don't want to get up. I have an orthodontist appointment at 8:30. Gotta get to class by 10. I'm not hungry...Oh wait 83? I'll have a juice and turn my pump off. I can't deal with a low while I'm at the doctors or while I'm driving.
11AM-3PM... Ugh shouldn't have turned my pump down. Why am I so afraid to go low? Correct!!! Oh my friends want to go get lunch! I'll drive. Hmm my blood sugar feels low. Lemonade instead of Diet Coke. Bolus for half the food. Drive back to school. Back to class. Yeah I didn't check my blood sugar...well it worked out. Next time I have to check it before I eat!
3PM-5PM... Yumm. Chinese leftovers...Pretzels! I'm hungry today. Insulin cartridge is low...what a surprise. 218...hopefully that will be down by dinner.

Each day is different, and that's one of the hardest things about living with Diabetes. I can do it all over again tomorrow, and it will never be the same. One thing is always constant, the sound... 6:07 PM Zip. Pop. Shake. Snap. Slide. Beep. Pull. Click. Squeeze. Beep. Count. Beep. 244.

So you're still reading!

It was great to "hear" from some of you after my last post. You are all so kind. I can't say it enough. I love the D-OC!
Thankfully Karen has come up with a timely idea that will get me back to blogging. I'm in! How about you? The first topic is great because a friend recently asked me to explain what goes into a day with Diabetes. Killing two birds with one stone as they say.

Also! Creating a resume sucks. I'm applying for a scholarship and I've realized that I have done absolutely NO volunteer activities since 2008. I feel like I need to go out and serve soup, build a house, and walk dogs before the June 1 deadline. Ahhh! See you Monday!

2 out of 3 ain't bad.

So I thought some of you would enjoy this little story:

I'm taking a class this semester called "Writing About Issues and Ideas" and the professor loves to send emails. Like seriously everyday after class we get an email. It's nice, but somewhat annoying. Anyway the emails are usually just tying up lose ends from class, but sometimes if you actually read them and respond you can get extra credit points.
The latest one was:
Which of the following statements is NOT an arguable factual claim:

1. People who are obese run a heightened risk for diabetes.
2. In the long run, dieting may be more harmful than moderate
overeating.

Supposedly the answer is 1.

Long story short I never responded because I was too lazy plus she sent it to us over a weekend. I had better things to do than worry about 3 silly points. We get to class Tuesday and she decides to review the answer. For some reason it catches my attention that even if statement is not arguable in her opinion, to me it is. So I raise my hand and ask her to read number 1 again. I then flat out say that she's she's wrong because her statement is a sweeping generalization. I tell her that by saying simply "diabetes" it makes it arguable, because I have Type 1 Diabetes and that has nothing to do with weight it's auto-immune. She admits that she is wrong and tells me to see her after class. Guess who got 2 extra credit points? ME! I'm not usually the most vocal when it comes to addressing Diabetes misconceptions in real life. I get flustered. I get frustrated. I feel like it's too hard to change the preconceived notions everyone has about Diabetes. But I did it, and it paid off. It should be noted that the book for this class is called "Everything's an Argument", maybe that's where I got the courage to speak up.

Also in the school realm, I'm taking a black and white film photography class this semester. The professor said that if you happen to have a cut on your hand and you touch the stop bath solution the cut will magically disappear in 2 days. Today I dipped all my over pricked fingers in just to experiment. If it works I'll let you know.

On a totally different note. Since I switched to Animas I have somewhere between 2 -4 boxes of unused Cozmo pump cartridges. If you or someone you know could benefit from free supplies, please let me know so I can get them to someone who needs them. My email address is available in my profile.

Happy Monday!

(Almost) One year away.

Whoa. It's been almost a year since I've written here. The adventure at the new place hasn't gone so well. I've missed writing and the feedback, but I just haven't had the time. If anyone is stilling reading this. A little update:

I started community college...let me tell you it is NOTHING like the show on NBC. It's good to be back in the classroom. I've kind of settled into the routine, and it's not terrible. I even got into the honors program. Still undeclared major. HELP!
I turned 18 in September. Got a new car! Bye bye buggie :(
My sister moved back home :)
I got a new pump, the Animas Ping! It's pink. I still miss my Cozmo.
The Endo and I are talking CGMS. I'm skeptical, he's progressive. We'll see what happens at my next appointment in March.

Don't worry D-peeps, I've been keeping up with you. How awesome is it that Kerri and Chris are having a baby? I'm so excited for them. And from everything else that I'm reading it seems that most of you are doing well.

Also Oprah's having a show tomorrow about Diabetes....I wonder if it will be informative or just more BS (and not the blood sugar kind) about how sugar and fat is going to kill us all because (Type 2) Diabetes is on the rise!

Anywho. I guess I'll see ya when I see ya! Happy belated new year!

Double Dose

Growing up seems to be this weeks theme...


Today is my seventeenth birthday.

Sunday is my twelfth D-anniversary.

I was five years old when I was diagnosed with Diabetes. At that age words like forever don’t exactly factor into the equation. It was more about that day or that week, and the future was a cloudy picture that didn’t mean much. When I was younger I never thought about the fact that I would get to my seventeenth birthday with Diabetes in tow. It’s not as though I thought I wouldn’t have Diabetes by seventeen, it’s just that the idea never really crossed my mind. But in the past few years as that cloudy future seemed to be inching closer, Diabetes became a part of that bigger picture too. I started to ponder what Diabetes would mean in my relationships, a career, and just everyday life. All of this is a part of growing up. My future isn’t set in stone, but now I can clearly see that Diabetes will play a role. Birthdays and anniversaries are life’s mile markers, and it’s bittersweet that two of mine fall so close to each other. With each birthday I am a step further into my future and whatever that may bring, but a part of me also pauses to remember that each birthday in the future will involve this disease. Tonight I will celebrate with friends laughing, smiling, enjoying. Sunday will come as a reminder of my trying years with diabetes and as a little spark of hope that maybe, just maybe one day my birthday won’t be a reminder of my Diabetes.

P.S. As I finished writing this, the Jonas Brothers', "A Little Bit Longer" started playing on my iTunes...

P.P.S. For the record that is the only Jonas Brothers song I have on iTunes.

Set your DVR's

This past weekend I caught a wonderful special on the Discovery Health channel called Diabetes: Demystifying the Myths. It was perhaps the most comprehensive and well explained presentation on Diabetes in general, but it really defined so many of the differences between Type 1 and Type 2. Topics like, "Diabetes is caused by eating to much sugar" and "Because you have Diabetes you can't have any sugar," were demystified in detail including how these things applied to Type 1 or Type 2. They talked pumps, exercise, eating habits, diagnosis stories, and emotions. From Gary Hall Jr. to a Pre-Diabetic to a Type 1 man and his Type 1 father, the most impressive thing had to be the varying faces of Diabetes the program showed. If you have ever thought, "if only I could summarize life with Diabetes in the perfect way" this is the program for you. If you have the chance it's definitely worth the hour out of your day, and I would encourage you to share it with others to spread education. You can click the link above for the scheduled airing times.

The numbers look excellent.

Or at least that's what my doctor thinks.

I had an endo appointment this morning, and everything seems to be looking good. A1c is holding steady at 6.9%. My meter averages look okay, although they could be a bit better. I've lost 3 pounds. I'm cutting back late night/early morning basal rates to avoid overnight lows and borderline wake up numbers like the pesky 78mg/dL that has greeted me almost every morning this week. I'm going to start using Symlin again at a lower dosage, but if it causes the same problems I'll stop. As we walked out of the office I thought to myself, "I'm pretty good at this whole diabetes thing." After the years of terrible doctors in the beginning of my life with Diabetes, I never thought that I would be able to achieve what I have. I have had 3 consecutive A1c's under 7%, and I usually walk out of my appointments with a smile. Although my management is solely my responsibility, I did not do this all on my own. The DOC has played a huge role in my ability to achieve what I have in the past year. Thank you so much!

My next appointment is in November, and I hope by then I'll be able to share an even better A1c report. I'm aiming to get closer to 6.5%, and with your help I know anything is possible.

PS.
I apologize for such scattered posting these past few months, I haven't had much to say. Although I have not been commenting, I have been reading a lot of DOC blogs. I hope everyone is well! I'll be back soon. Who knows, I might even jump on the vlog bandwagon just to switch things up...

I'm back!

It has been way too long! I wish I could say I’ve been off on crazy summer adventures, but I really haven’t. Of course I’ve been spending as much time with friends as possible, relaxing by the pool, and working on my tan, but I haven’t really been up to anything so spectacular that I couldn’t spare a few minutes to check in with the OC. I’ve mentioned before that diabetes as writing topic just gets a little boring at times, and I guess that’s why I haven’t felt the need to write here. Perhaps I need to share a little more me and little less “diabetor” to get the writing rolling again?

This summer has given me the opportunity to spend a lot of time with my friends. The majority of my friends live in a town about twenty five minutes away, but four of my closest friends live only five minutes from me so we’ve been trying to make the most of that. Usually just hanging out by my pool, watching TV, going to the park, or out to dinner, but it’s really more about the company. Since I am one of the few with a license and a car, I’ve taken the position as official driver to get all of us across town to see the rest of our friends. We hop in my bug, crank up the tunes, blast the a/c, and try make memories we hope will last forever.

Oh, oh guess who has braces now!? ME! I am probably the only person to ever be excited about braces, but I am. Okay, so it’s been a bit painful, and my OCD tendencies have now turned to obsessive multiple teeth brushings per day. But I know it will all be worth it in the end. Apparently they make me look younger, which is not good because I already have a “baby face” (at least that's what I've been told). I should probably mention I have to get a few teeth pulled because along with my baby face, I still have two baby teeth. Weird, right? Well they are still there because I don’t have any adult teeth underneath. Crazy!

I finished a class!!! I got a B! It was an honors Algebra II class, so I’m happy with that. I’m also on the verge of finishing another one. If I keep up this pace, I will definitely be applying to college for 2009, just like my friends! But then that leads to the next topic…

I am so freaked out about the idea of college. In the “I can not make this decision, stop asking me questions about my possible majors, no I don’t have a specific place in mind, ahhhh leave me alone” sort of way. One of my closest friends is struggling with this too. I can easily hold her hand telling her it will be okay, but I can’t do the same for myself. I think it’s because the idea of going to college was real until very recently. It’s hit me like a freight train, and I am still trying to recover from the impact.

Well I hope everyone is having an amazing summer! I’m off to learn some Spanish, you know so I can graduate on time and think about college...ew.

Summertime and the blogging isn't so easy.

Well it's been over a week...there are things I could write about, but I don't have enough time to get my thoughts together. You see my friends got out of school this past Friday. Since then it's kind of been non stop socializing and you know how that goes. So for now I've only got a few bullet points to keep you up to date.

• I'm over my pump slump.
  
• Took the SATs on June 7th. In an attempt to avoid lows I reduced my basal rate a bit, and ended the test at a cloudy 309...no wonder that last math section seemed like a foreign language. I'm hoping I still pulled off the score I was aiming for, because I really do not want to go through it again.
• Made it to day 235 for Diabetes 365, and then I just stopped taking pictures... I'm not really upset about it, and I'm not going to start up again. I never really felt like I was accomplishing the right goal/ any goal at all with the project. I also felt like highlighting Diabetes so much was not doing me any good. So I give up. I guess I should go tell them.
• In the past few days I've been slacking a bit with school, but I've got a goal and I'm going to reach it. By this time next year I will have that diploma in my hand!
• It's been ridiculously hot here. Like really really really hot! Seriously, I was sitting in a restaurant with my friend and the sign at the bank across the street said 110 degrees. Oh and if you don't know about the humidity of an East Coast summer just take my word for it. It's rough!
• Yesterday, I went swimming for the first time this summer. I completely forgot about putting my pump back on after 2 hours. I got caught up in conversation with a friend...4 hours after my disconnect I was 406mg/dL. I've learned my lesson.
  
• Oh yeah I also never told you my final thoughts on the KeyNote meter...in a few words. I'm not a fan.
  

When it's not shiny and new.

Eight months ago I was more than ready. I was sick of high blood sugars, waking up at three AM in the hopes of staving off morning highs, correcting all day, lows that I could not predict, and A1c’s that had never been anything lower than 8. I was a little nervous. What if I couldn’t deal with site changes? Bleeders? What would it be like to have such a huge part of this disease in my pocket, instead of stowed away in my purse? Would it be worth it? I wasn’t quite sure, and I’m still not certain that I have all the answers. I know I love the fact that I see good numbers more than bad ones. Going days without a number over 200 isn’t a surprise, it’s the norm. Having A1c’s under 7 make me feel great not only physically, but emotionally. I’ve never been prouder of how much control I can have with disease. It’s almost as if I’m playing a game, except the only person I’m trying to one up is me. A new trick with a meal bolus, lowering my averages, lowering my A1c, basal rate shifts, anything to win this never ending match between myself and this disease. But it can’t always be a game and it’s not always perfect.
There another side to this story.
I find myself holding off on site changes because I don’t want to look for a spot that isn’t scabbed and puffy. I hate the scabs. The patterns are like constellations, but instead of resembling a fearless hunter or a great bear, they just show me what my body isn’t capable of. The pump companies talk about how a pump makes your life easier with Diabetes, but I don’t think this is always true. Before I was on my pump I wondered if it would serve as a constant reminder, and for the first few months it didn’t seem that it would be. Now I know I was wrong. I can’t help but feel self conscious of the tubing, or the little glances someone will make at an infusion set on my arm. I feel different from everyone else. The responsibility makes me feel older and less free. There are even days when I seriously think about taking a break, giving it up. I know I won’t, but sometimes my mind wanders to what it was like when I didn’t pick outfits based on where my infusion set was or make plans based on infusion set changes. Some days are harder than others, but all I need to do is think of that first A1c of 6.8 to remind me that it’s worth it even when it doesn't seem that way.

(I wrote this entire post without knowing that today was the actual eight month anniversary of my pump arriving. Crazy.)

Mary Tyler Moore on Oprah! Part 2.

Sorry it took me so long! It's not exactly straight. I had to record it with my camera because I don't have the equipment to transfer straight from DVR to PC. Anyway here it is. (In the first few seconds she was talking about not sleeping with Elvis, in case you were wondering.)




Sorry for the long absence. I have something fun to talk about, but I'll save them for tomorrow.

Mary Tyler Moore on Oprah!

I'm watching it now! Guess what Oprah asked her about?!! TYPE 1 DIABETES!!!! Can you tell I'm excited? Well I am. Mary did a wonderful job explaining a bit about how Type 1 has changed her life. It wasn't alot, but it was enough to get the word out. Apparently she has written a book about "growing up again" after her Type 1 diagnosis. She even plugged the JDRF! Yay Oprah has finally won my support back, I know I should credit her researchers for this but whatever.

At 5:30 CT you can click this link and read an over view of the show!

The Office.

Well, I totally under estimated my doctor. But really what else is new? I am so quick to make things worse than they are. He was actually really pleased with my averages, and even called them beautiful. Under my breath I muttered, “No they look like crap.” My A1c went from 6.8 to 6.9, and he said he was extremely happy with that as well. We discussed that exercise was really my only missing link, but that’s up to me to deal with. He didn’t comment much on my insulin intake. I think he’s finally realized that I just happen to require a lot of insulin to achieve better numbers, unlike so many doctors of the past who hesitated to up my intake. Seriously, how can he argue about insulin intake if the numbers are relatively good? We talked about the JDRF walk, and he told us about a fundraiser idea he’s been working on. It involves being dunked for donations! I would pay to see that.

When we went into the exam room there was a chair like the ones used in dialysis clinics. My mom asked him about it, and he basically explained that he will be starting a trial next week that involves 14 days of IV drugs to send newly diagnosed Type 1 into a non-permanent remission, as a part of the Protégé Study. He admitted that if it were his choice he wouldn’t choose to do it because staving it off isn’t quite good enough, but that it would hopefully help on the path to a cure. I thought it was good that he was honest about that, and I actually agree with him.

So the morale of the story is…I am the queen of unnecessary flipping out. I need to look at the broad picture of my numbers, not just the terrible individual ones. I should work on relaxing just a bit.

*10 PM update. After I wrote this post my blood sugar was 55mg/dL, so I apologize for any thing that doesn't make sense.

This one is all over the place.

First of all, Happy (Belated) Mother’s Day every mom!
Being a mom is one of the hardest jobs on the planet, and you deserve more than just a single day of recognition.

My thoughts have been extremely tangled lately.

School work has been the main priority, and that of course causes me to think about my future. When I think about my future there are three things that always come to mind. The first is somewhere along the lines of, “I can do this. I’m really making progress. College is really an attainable goal.” The second is more, “What if I can’t do this? It will never be enough. No college will ever want me. I’m a failure. My life sucks. I look like absolute shit on paper.” The third and hardest to think about is the fact that no matter what happens with my academic career, I’ll be watching my friends from the sidelines. I won’t have a graduation ceremony with the white robe and the smiling family in the stands. If I decide that college isn’t the right path, or I don’t feel that I’m ready, I’ll have to see my friends go off into the sunset leaving me behind. It’s hard to even write this. I guess most of all I’m just so scared that it will turn out that way, even if I do everything I can for it not to happen. The circumstances surrounding my decision to start distance learning were difficult to deal with, but now it’s even harder when thoughts like this make me doubt the choice I made.

Tomorrow I have my quarterly endocrinologist appointment. I had blood drawn last week, and I know for a fact that the results are not going to be good. If they are I would be completely surprised, and I would feel undeserving. I can see my grip slipping, and the proof is on my meter. My averages have started climbing up reaching the 140’s. At first I was writing it off. It’s stress, that time of the month, or just a fluke, but it’s gotten worse. I can see patterns in my eating habits, lax in my corrections, no logging. I’m not beating myself up, I’m acknowledging my weaknesses. I’ll get it together, I have to. I just hope that my endo doesn’t rip into me. That’s not really his style, but you know how easy it is to expect the worst the night before an appointment. If he mentions anything about my weight or how much insulin I’m taking, I can already see myself crying about it. I would appreciate if he would offer better solutions than taking Symlin or exercising more. He always says things like, “Your weight is up” or “You sure do take a lot of insulin,” but he rarely offers more than those few words. I want to scream at him, “Would you like me to start cutting my insulin?!” If I wasn’t as obsessed with striving for good management, I could see his words driving me to a bad place with my control. I know he means well, and he’s actually one of the best endos I’ve ever had, it’s just frustrating sometimes.

So until tomorrow…

One...

I’m a day early, but I’m going out of town for Mother’s Day so I have to post this today.

It's time for a blogiversary!

(I looked back and the first post you will see is dated May 11, 2007, but the real first post was May 10, 2007. It's safe to say the first post was completely terrible, at some point along the way I decided to delete it. Sorry! Don't bother reading this blog from the beginning. It's terrible, seriously I wish I could go back and rewrite it all. )

It’s been one year since I decided to share my story with the world. I came to you a scared 15 year old girl searching for something that I could not find in my everyday life. I needed support and reassurance. I needed to know it would be okay. That the years of terrible doctors, doing the best I could, and hiding my disease from the world could be turned around. What I found was something remarkable. A wonderful group of people, who took me in, taught me what I didn’t know, and extended help whenever I asked. I'll never be the poetic eloquent one, so I present...

One Year in Highlights (lots of links in no particular order):

I’ve seen my A1c drop from 10.5% to 8.2% with the help of online resources, asking questions, and actually talking to my doctor.

I turned Sweet 16.

I marked 11 years with Type 1.

I started Diabetes 365, and so far I am 208 days in.

I made the decision to switch to an insulin pump. I was no longer worried about the exterior marker of Diabetes, and I felt I finally had enough knowledge to handle the responsibility.

I learned to drive, and did the responsible thing by letting the MVA know I have Diabetes.

I had my first A1c under 7%, a lovely 6.8%.

I walked in my first JDRF Walk to Cure Diabetes.

But enough about me…

I just need to say THANK YOU! I could never write anything to sum up how much each of you mean to me. I know I'll never feel alone with this disease again. THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!

The Few, The Forgotten, The Type 1’s.

Today is Raise Your Voice for Type 1 Diabetes Awareness Day

First some facts:

Type 1 Diabetes is an autoimmune disease. There is absolutely no way to prevent it. There are no bad habits or lifestyle choices to blame. No one knows exactly why each case is caused. There can be families full of Type 1 Diabetics or families like mine where I stand alone. No special diets, miracle pills, or insane exercise routines will regenerate the insulin producing cells that were killed by our immune systems. Insulin is a hormone that would naturally, in a person without Type 1 Diabetes, allow the body to accept the glucose in food to provide energy; it also constantly stabilizes blood sugar. Because we (people with Type 1) don’t have those insulin producing cells anymore, we must inject or pump insulin. To do this we use a complicated system of numbers matching every gram of carbohydrate we eat and our current blood glucose numbers to units of insulin. But you have to always keep in mind your activity level, daily stress, and the different affect each type of food has on your body. It’s a challenge, and one false move can mean disaster. If the balance isn’t just right, it can mean hypoglycemia (blood glucose goes too low) and a possible 911 call or hyperglycemia (blood glucose goes too high) and the possibility of future complications, like amputation or kidney disease.

Now some feelings:

Although the onset of Type 1 Diabetes is usually (some Type 1’s are diagnosed much later in life) during childhood, it is not only a childhood disease. We don’t trade in our meters, pumps, insulin, and syringes for voter registration cards on our 18^th birthdays. The majority of us have taken this disease through many phases of our lives. Our first day of school, our high school graduations, our first jobs, our weddings, and sadly it will eventually accompany us to our funerals if a cure is not found.

I think I speak for the majority of Type 1’s when I say that we feel like second class People with Diabetes. The term Diabetes gets tossed around very freely and 99% of the time the term Type 2 Diabetes should be used. Think about what you’ve heard on TV lately.

Statements like:

“Obesity causes Diabetes.”

“With the help of such and such diet pill/plan I’ve cured my Diabetes.”

“Lower your risk for Diabetes”.

The fact is the media chooses to use these incorrect phrases for the simple fact that Type 2 Diabetes is the more common disease, but that doesn’t make it right. These statements make it harder for each and every person with Type 1 Diabetes to rise above the stigma of the “Diabetes” label. We did not cause this disease, and really many people with Type 2 Diabetes haven’t done anything to “cause” their disease either. We can’t just lose weight to make it go away. Popping a special pill won’t give us control. Type 1 Diabetes is life long.

If you don’t have Type 1 Diabetes or know someone with it, think about it like this:

I have had this disease for almost 12 years, since the age of 5. Name one thing that you have been dealing with for 11 plus years or since the age of 5 that requires constant attention that you never choose to commit to… I can’t think of many other things except for other health related issues. I can’t quit this disease like I quit the T-ball team when I was 6. I can’t cut it off like I did with my hair last year when it was driving me insane. I can’t divorce Type 1 Diabetes.

I don’t want sympathy.

I don’t want pity.

I want understanding.

I want people to become more educated and aware that there is more than just “Diabetes”.

How can you become more aware or spread awareness?

Visit The Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation (JDRF) website.

Make a Donation to help find a cure for Type 1 Diabetes.

Read a complete overview of what Type 1 Diabetes including a list of symptoms.

Donate to my personal JDRF Walk to Cure Diabetes fund raising goal.

Peak into the lives of people documenting living one year with Diabetes (of all types) through photographs.

Check out how other bloggers are raising their voices.

Go thank Kerri for organizing this for us!

And finally if you are lurking, feel free to ask questions about Type 1 Diabetes. I'll be happy to answer them.

What A Wednesday.

Before I went to sleep last night I filled a pump insulin cartridge for the site change I knew I would have to do as soon as I woke up this morning.
Well I woke up and found this:
A knot in my tubing.
Accompanied by a 240mg/dL bloodsugar.
After snapping that picture I started my site change routine:
Put the cartridge in the pump.
While the rod was pulling the cartridge back, I IV prepped my new site and unwrapped the new infusion set. Let dry.
Secured the pump cap over the cartridge.
Screwed the old longer tubing from my last site on to the cartridge. (The set I was putting in had short tubing pre-connected inside the inserter.)
Popped the site in my left hip.
Sting!
I pulled the guide needle out and saw a tiny drop of blood. No problem.


I looked down at the tubing that is pre-connected to the site, it was filling with blood. Almost as if I was having blood drawn at the lab.
I steadied myself (have I mentioned my hatred for bleeding?), and got to work yanking the site out using a warm washcloth.
After I had the site out and stopped the bleeding I put some antibiotic cream and a Sesame Street band aid on it.
Then I started the site change process over again.
The next set seemed fine until a few hours later when my blood sugar was sticking around 250.

Thankfully when I started writing this I clocked in at 100 exactly.

What a day!

Monday Mash...

Well, the dance was a lot of fun. I met up with a few friends, and we danced the night away. As usual I complained about the heat from all of the people being in such a closed space, and how much my feet hurt in my favorite red heels by the end of the night.
On the diabetes front things were excellent. The dress I wore already had pockets, so I just slit a little hole in one for my tubing and no one even knew it was there. I arrived at the dance with a blood sugar of 106 on an 85% basal rate. I ate a pack of Swedish Fish to account for a bit of IOB left over from dinner and then I hit the dance floor. I ended the night at a fabulous 118. I would post a picture of me all gussied up, but I did not realize until the end of the night how low cut my dress was...so no pictures to embarrass myself even further by letting the whole world see.

I went to the dentist today. Most of it was good news. I am luckily blessed with no wisdom teeth, seriously I do not have them! I also don't have any cavities, but I do have to go back for the dentist to check out something (he suspects a cavity) underneath a sealant that I had put on 3 years ago. Unfortunately the hygienist did detect a small amount of gingivitis around my bottom front teeth, but that can easily be remedied with my "home care regimen". It's basically that I hate mouth wash, and I don't floss every single day (are there actually people that do?) So I guess I'll have to suck it up, and ramp up that aspect of my diabetes related regimen because unfortunately diabetes and gingivitis are related.

Time for another long week. I'm planning to focus more on my school work, we will see where that leads. I'm hoping I can get into a more consistent groove, because what I've been doing has not been as productive as I would like.

Have a great week!

My trip to the hospital.

Well I thought this weekend would be a good one, but it did not turn out that way at all.

Friday was a beautiful day I spent the afternoon with my sister, who was home for the weekend, and as a family we awaited the arrival of my aunt, uncle, and three little cousins.
Saturday arrived filled with plans. My aunt and uncle were in town to attend a birthday party, and we had the task of entertaining the kids while they were out, we decided to take them bowling. My aunt and uncle left for the party around 1 pm, and that is when all the chaos started. My littlest cousin Riley (1) was having trouble going down for her nap, and her brothers were going crazy in our family room. Around 3pm I made my first mad dash to the bathroom, just as Riley started wailing from her crib. As soon as I finished up I went in to check on her. She hadn't been sleeping for much more than an hour, so I tried to get her to lay back down. It didn't work. I wasn't feeling well and I had to ask my mom to come help me. She took over and I went to lay down. We decided to attempt taking the kids bowling, even though Riley hadn't had a full nap. So my mom got the kids in their coats and shoes, while I went to the bathroom again. By the time she had all the kids in the van, I came to window of the van and told her I couldn't go. I felt terrible, and all I wanted to do was sleep. So I stayed home to wait for my sister to come home from a doctor's appointment, in the hopes that by that time I would be feeling better and we could meet my mom at the bowling alley. No such luck. I only continued to feel worse, so I tried calling my mom and sister to get some help. No one answered. At this point my blood sugars had been running low never reaching over 80, even with a 50% temp basal rate. My dad was around, but he wasn't of much help. He ended up leaving to go somewhere while I laid on the couch feeling like utter crap. When my sister finally arrived around 5pm I had already been to the bathroom several more times, and yelling at her for not picking up her phone made me vomit (literally). She helped clean me up and soon my mom and the kids arrived home. My mom had me move from the couch to her bedroom. I spent the rest of the night running the bathroom (things were coming out of both ends if you catch my drift). By 7pm my blood sugars started to climb into the high 100's and I had small ketones. By 9pm my blood sugars were still in the high 100's, I was still vomiting, and I had large ketones. The whole evening I kept telling my mom, "I'm not going to the hospital," but when we saw that dark purple square we knew we had to call my doctor's emergency number. When he returned our call about 15 minutes later, he said he thought it would be best if I went to the hospital for an IV since I couldn't keep anything down and because of the ketones. He thought it would be best if I went to the hospital he works out of in Baltimore, even though he wouldn't be there because he could call ahead so I could be seen quickly. I wasn't happy about going, but I knew it was best. So my mom, sister, and I got in the van. Trash can, water, and blankets in hand for the 30 minute trip. I made it about half way and then vomited again. We were seen within a few minutes of arriving. I had to give a urine sample, which showed +1 ketones, and I had blood work done. After the blood work I thought I was going to pass out so I was allowed some ice chips. I spent the next 2 hours on an IV to rehydrate. By 1am we were on our way back home. I still don't feel great. I've spent the entire day in my parents room sleeping and eating jell-o, but I feel much better than I did yesterday. The ER doctor said that she was glad I came in before things got out of hand. So I suppose if this ever happens again I'll have overcome my hatred of all things medical and go to the hospital early. The last time I went to the hospital for something like this I was 7 years old, so I'd be very happy if it didn't happen again for another 9 years! Buy hey, at least I didn't have to stay over night.

I'm still kind of delirious so if some of the story doesn't make sense, I apologize.