Sunday, May 16, 2010

Dream a little dream - life after a cure...strange new world.

I don't see myself as a glass half full or half empty kind of person. I'm more in the "glass just has some friggin' liquid in it, move on" camp. So postulating about life without Type 1 Diabetes has never been high on my priority list. Of course, I've had those days where all I've want is to be "normal", but I really never get beyond that simple idea. I don't know what I would want from my "normal" diabetes-free life. Let me think about it.

Well, I would hope that this miracle cure would come sooner rather than later. I'm going on 14 years with this little sidekick, and somethings that feels like far too long. The bonuses of getting rid of diabetes would be enormous. Forget the health benefits for a second.
I wouldn't need a giant purse. I wouldn't have juice boxes in the back seat of my car prompting a new friend to jokingly ask if I, "Had a kid or something?" There wouldn't be test strips in every strange place imaginable (underwear drawer, anyone?) I would only have pruney fingers instead of creepy fingers after a long swim. My jeans' front pocket would be empty. I would be untethered, forever, instead of just for showers.
With all honestly, I think it would be hard to let it all go. Diabetes is woven into everything I do. I make my choices with Diabetes in mind. I see the world a certain way because of my life with Diabetes. It's a part of me, it's shaped me in a weird way. I haven't lost hope, but I've come to accept it.
The only thing that would really make me happy about living life without Diabetes would be the fact that I would have one less thing to worry about when I want to start a family some day. There are no guarantees in this life, but checking diabetes off the list of risk factors would be a dream come true.
I try not to focus on the things that scare me about living with this disease, because I'm trying to LIVE with it. I take each day as it comes, but for now I'm still planning for a future that includes Diabetes.

Maybe one day we will all be attending the first annual conference for "The Former Diabetes Online Community".


meanderings said...

I've missed your posts - so it's been fun this week!
The Former DOC is a great idea.

Anonymous said...

Former DOC? That sounds lovely! I think that "day by day" is definitely the best way to deal with diabetes.