I'm not going! Well not quite yet.

So, I hope you didn't think that with the end of Diabetes Blog Week I would disappear back in to the real world. I've had little too much fun being back here with Diabetor and the DOC. So here's the deal. The next 5 posts I write (It could take a few weeks I'm busy with school still) will be partially posted on this blog with a link to read the rest over at my new blog. After five posts I'll be dropping the cross posting thing and sticking strictly to the new blog. Sound like a deal? I'm in the process of having the new blog added to the Diabetes Daily Headlines so you will be able to easily see when I post on the new blog, although my topics will not always be Diabetes related. Basically, I'm pulling an Allison on you by adding more topics to the mix, but I'm doing it on a whole new blog. I hope you'll continue to read :)

Dream a little dream - life after a cure...strange new world.

I don't see myself as a glass half full or half empty kind of person. I'm more in the "glass just has some friggin' liquid in it, move on" camp. So postulating about life without Type 1 Diabetes has never been high on my priority list. Of course, I've had those days where all I've want is to be "normal", but I really never get beyond that simple idea. I don't know what I would want from my "normal" diabetes-free life. Let me think about it.

Well, I would hope that this miracle cure would come sooner rather than later. I'm going on 14 years with this little sidekick, and somethings that feels like far too long. The bonuses of getting rid of diabetes would be enormous. Forget the health benefits for a second.

I wouldn't need a giant purse. I wouldn't have juice boxes in the back seat of my car prompting a new friend to jokingly ask if I, "Had a kid or something?" There wouldn't be test strips in every strange place imaginable (underwear drawer, anyone?) I would only have pruney fingers instead of creepy fingers after a long swim. My jeans' front pocket would be empty. I would be untethered, forever, instead of just for showers.

With all honestly, I think it would be hard to let it all go. Diabetes is woven into everything I do. I make my choices with Diabetes in mind. I see the world a certain way because of my life with Diabetes. It's a part of me, it's shaped me in a weird way. I haven't lost hope, but I've come to accept it.

The only thing that would really make me happy about living life without Diabetes would be the fact that I would have one less thing to worry about when I want to start a family some day. There are no guarantees in this life, but checking diabetes off the list of risk factors would be a dream come true.

I try not to focus on the things that scare me about living with this disease, because I'm trying to LIVE with it. I take each day as it comes, but for now I'm still planning for a future that includes Diabetes.

Maybe one day we will all be attending the first annual conference for "The Former Diabetes Online Community".

DBW Day 6 - Diabetes Snapshots: Site Change Day

Today's topic coincides perfectly with my site change! I'm not one of those "let's see how long this site will last" or "oh i'm pushing day 7 on this site" people. My site comes out every three days like clock work, and sometimes every two days. I don't know about you but, my sites just start begging to be changed as I'm approaching that 72 hour mark.

New Infusion set & IV Prep:

IV Prep on the site. Right Hip.

New set unwrapped.

Pop it in:

Connected to 2 sites at once (excuse the messy sink/mirror):

New cartridge and tubing:

Rewind:

Load cartridge:

Prime tubing:
Fill Cannula:

Put the pump back in its home aka my pocket:

I encourage you to pop over to the inspiration for this topic: Diabetes 365

Let's get moving...DBW Day 5

This one's going to be short.
I hate exercise. It's not my thing. There is a running joke in my family about me quitting t-ball after the first practice. So if that is any indication of my athletic ability, you know where this is going. I wish I was one of those disciplined, every day-worky-outy people. Instead I'm more of an every once in a while I try some random thing and give up type. I've realized I just get so bored. I like built in exercise not scheduled exercise. I've lost 10 pounds since December by cutting back on calories and walking around campus during my free time. It's simple, I don't need workout gear and I'm technically just going to class the long way. My friend always makes fun of me for how fast I walk, but I'm just tricking my brain into some exercise. I've got a heavy backpack and 20 minutes to walk around and that equals a mini workout. I'm convinced that if I lived in a city, where walking was the most convenient thing to do I'd be much more fit! Now we'll just have to see what happens when summer comes around.

I'm all about support and carbs! or DBW Day 3&4

Sorry I missed yesterday. I was coming off a 72 hour final paper writing session, and all I wanted to do was sleep when I got home from class. Yesterday was all about support. Here's my two cents:

I have a love hate relationship with support in all arenas of my life. Seriously. It's bad. I'm the first one to help any of my friends in times of trouble, but don't ever expect me to ask a single one of them for a thing. Some people are just givers. My parents think I'm a pushover. I disagree. Anyway, I'll get to my point.
My biggest D supporters are my mom, sister, and the D-OC. In the beginning my mom was the only person I allowed to give me shots or participate in the management of my diabetes. She did what she could given the circumstances often going above and beyond, she kept me alive. I'll always be grateful for what she's done for me over the years. Never pushing too hard, always letting me have my say even if I was probably wrong. Letting me lean on her for as long as I needed to. Sometimes I still look to her as a guide. We have gone from my complete dependence on her, to her saying things like; "You know what is best, I trust you'll make the right decision." Then, a few years ago I stumbled upon a blog. I can't remember whose it was, but I know what I was looking for. I was thinking about going on a pump. I wanted more information, from real people. I felt like I was reading about old friends, with stories just like mine. So I did what any logical person would do...joined in! It was one of the greatest decisions I've ever made for my diabetes management. I credit the D-OC with so much of my success. I never knew that a simple google search would lead me to a community of people who care from miles and miles away.

Today:

Okay. To put it simply. I eat carbs. I do what I can to cut them out, but I'm not one of those "OMG this massive amount of insulin is going to kill me AHHH the carbs" kind of people. I eat what I want, to a certain extent. I always drink diet drinks, but I rarely eat anything labeled "sugar free". I don't like straight bread & butter, but I'm not opposed to sandwiches. I like ice cream, but I don't eat it often. I like chocolate, and I eat it more than I probably "should". I hate vegetables. I don't even like fruit. I have a very limited diet. I've got issues with food texture. I occasionally read labels, but I've got carb counts memorized for my staple foods. I eat pizza. I like Chinese food. I really don't know what I would eat if I tried to eliminate carbs. It works for me. "Let me eat carbs! And Cake! And wash it all down with Diet Coke!" I'm all about whatever works. So don't hesitate to invite me over to your house for a low carb dinner. I won't even expect you to supply the Diet Coke, I always bring my own!

Off to write another 5 page paper! Maybe I'll see you tomorrow.

Making the low go...up and away.

Day two is going be a quick one. It's been a long day. My low treatment of choice is the classic, the tried and true: juicy juice 4 oz juice box! Or little Swedish fish snack packs. One of my most unusual low cravings is pretzels soaked in orange juice. Sounds so gross, but it is so delicious at 2 am when your blood sugar is 48. The other day I really wanted Chipotle when my blood sugar was low, the cravings are unpredictable.

A Day In The Life...The Routine Sounds.

You know the sounds, the ones you have become deaf to. The familiar movements, you could do them with your eyes closed, in the dark, one hand tied behind your back. The steps for a blood sugar test. I've done this 11 times in the past 24 hours.

5:06 PM Zip. Pop. Shake. Snap. Slide. Beep. Pull. Click. Squeeze. Beep. Count. Beep. 164.
6:38 PM Zip. Pop. Shake. Snap. Slide. Beep. Pull. Click. Squeeze. Beep. Count. Beep. 157.
8:57 PM Zip. Pop. Shake. Snap. Slide. Beep. Pull. Click. Squeeze. Beep. Count. Beep. 92.
11:50 PM Zip. Pop. Shake. Snap. Slide. Beep. Pull. Click. Squeeze. Beep. Count. Beep. 104.
6:21 AM Zip. Pop. Shake. Snap. Slide. Beep. Pull. Click. Squeeze. Beep. Count. Beep. 205.
7:29 AM Zip. Pop. Shake. Snap. Slide. Beep. Pull. Click. Squeeze. Beep. Count. Beep. 139.
8:20 AM Zip. Pop. Shake. Snap. Slide. Beep. Pull. Click. Squeeze. Beep. Count. Beep. 83.
9:52 AM Zip. Pop. Shake. Snap. Slide. Beep. Pull. Click. Squeeze. Beep. Count. Beep. 118.
11:30 AM Zip. Pop. Shake. Snap. Slide. Beep. Pull. Click. Squeeze. Beep. Count. Beep. 234.
3:16 PM Zip. Pop. Shake. Snap. Slide. Beep. Pull. Click. Squeeze. Beep. Count. Beep. 136
5:05 PM Zip. Pop. Shake. Snap. Slide. Beep. Pull. Click. Squeeze. Beep. Count. Beep. 218

Those are just the numbers. Here are the thoughts...

5PM - 9PM...I should change my site before I eat that Chinese food. Why is Chinese so delicious, but so annoying to deal with when it comes to blood sugar. I hope I don't take too much or too little insulin. I hate when my blood sugar fluctuations make me sleepy. Ugh I really need to get a dent into this 2,500 word essay. My blood sugar feels low, I think I'll drink some orange juice....
9PM -12AM...I hate school. This paper is a waste. I feel a little fuzzy. 104 Oh my blood sugar isn't low? Weird. I'll turn my pump down a bit anyway. I'm going to bed.
12AM -6AM... Toss and turn...blood sugar is probably on the rise from turning my pump down. 5 more minutes of sleep. 205 Damn. I knew it. Why do I always do this?! Correct!!
6AM-10AM... Ugh I don't want to get up. I have an orthodontist appointment at 8:30. Gotta get to class by 10. I'm not hungry...Oh wait 83? I'll have a juice and turn my pump off. I can't deal with a low while I'm at the doctors or while I'm driving.
11AM-3PM... Ugh shouldn't have turned my pump down. Why am I so afraid to go low? Correct!!! Oh my friends want to go get lunch! I'll drive. Hmm my blood sugar feels low. Lemonade instead of Diet Coke. Bolus for half the food. Drive back to school. Back to class. Yeah I didn't check my blood sugar...well it worked out. Next time I have to check it before I eat!
3PM-5PM... Yumm. Chinese leftovers...Pretzels! I'm hungry today. Insulin cartridge is low...what a surprise. 218...hopefully that will be down by dinner.

Each day is different, and that's one of the hardest things about living with Diabetes. I can do it all over again tomorrow, and it will never be the same. One thing is always constant, the sound... 6:07 PM Zip. Pop. Shake. Snap. Slide. Beep. Pull. Click. Squeeze. Beep. Count. Beep. 244.

So you're still reading!

It was great to "hear" from some of you after my last post. You are all so kind. I can't say it enough. I love the D-OC!
Thankfully Karen has come up with a timely idea that will get me back to blogging. I'm in! How about you? The first topic is great because a friend recently asked me to explain what goes into a day with Diabetes. Killing two birds with one stone as they say.

Also! Creating a resume sucks. I'm applying for a scholarship and I've realized that I have done absolutely NO volunteer activities since 2008. I feel like I need to go out and serve soup, build a house, and walk dogs before the June 1 deadline. Ahhh! See you Monday!