A weekend review.

I hope everyone had a great weekend. I know I did. It was tiring and slightly stressful, but I made it through. I spent all of Friday evening working on the front of 12 t-shirts for my JDRF walk team members. Procrastination is one of my terrible habits. I was up until 1AM working on them, and I'm still paying for that lack of sleep. I woke up early Saturday to clean the kitchen floor, vacuum, and set up for the party. We were expecting about 6-7 of my friends, but unfortunately only 4 could make it. We had a great time chatting about the boys we are friends with and their lack of social ability. We watched Juno for the millionth time. I told them about my blog and that I would be meeting 2 people who also blog about diabetes at the walk. They thought it was so cool that I actually have a bit of a following. I didn't give them the blog address because I'm not that vocal about having Type 1 Diabetes in my everyday life, but who knows maybe they'll find it some day. I like to let people into this side of my life very slowly. We finished almost all of the shirts, and I was left with the responsibility of completing the ones that we didn't get to. Sunday I worked on the remaining ones and now I have 3 left. It was a very productive weekend!

You can check out the pictures in my JDRF Walk Flickr Set.

This week is going to pass by very quickly. On Friday we're going to New Jersey for my cousin's first communion, and we'll return late Saturday so we can make it to the walk on Sunday. Who knows when I'll have time to blog between school work and last minute prep for the weekend.
Have a good week!

Note to self.

Do NOT check someone else's symptoms on WebMD (without that person's approval). Especially if that someone is your mother, you will find something terrible. It will lead to a sleepless night and stomach pain. Just wait until the doctor calls with the results. There is no need to scare yourself. Hopefully it isn't what WebMD and everyone else thinks it is. I know I'm being cryptic, I just don't want to talk about it until I know more. WebMD is no longer my friend.

I'll be back later.

In the Hands of a Six Year Old.

The year was 1991, and my parents found themselves preparing for the birth of their second child. As most of you know there are many aspects to anticipating the arrival of a new baby, and finding the perfect name was definitely on the list. My parents chose to have the sex of their baby revealed on the day of the delivery, so there had to be an option for both sides of the coin.

The name for their potential baby boy was an easy choice, Elliot Holland. Two names, one from each side of the family. Elliot, from my father, his middle name. Holland, from my mother, her maiden name. The name for a baby girl was a more difficult choice. So the most logical thing was to leave it in the hand of their six year old daughter, Élise.

Now there is a special significance to this decision. In 1968, after years of my grandparents hoping for another child, my mother’s new sibling was soon to be born. My mother was thirteen at the time, and my grandparents gave her the reigns when it came to the name for this special baby. She picked out Christopher James for her baby brother, and a tradition was born.*

Back to 1991. The fate of this possible baby girl was in the hands of a SIX YEAR OLD! First on her list was Cherise, the name of her favorite doll. Next came Jillian, after the main character of her favorite book, “The Wonderful Pigs of Jillian Jiggs”. There was also mention of just Child, but that was not accepted by our parents. So after doing as much toiling as any six year old can do, she came to a final decision.

On September 19^th, 1991, little Élise was decked out in her “I’m a big sister shirt,” my father was eating jelly donuts, and my mother was in what I can only assume was the most pain of her lifetime as the Randall family became four. The addition was a baby girl, Jillian Renée. My middle name is also Élise’s and our maternal grandmother's.

It turns out, the specific Jillian Jiggs book my sister had was some what prophetic. The character was a spunky girl with a love of crafting, just like me. The complete meaning of my two given names is girl reborn. I also think this fits. I’ve been through many trials in my short life, with each I have triumphed and grown into what I can only hope is a better person. Giving a name is a powerful thing, and although I did not have the opportunity to choose my own, I am happy with it and it’s story.

*My sister has mentioned plans to continue this tradition with her future first and second born.

After this one, back to our regularly scheduled programming.

I think I might have the one of best friends ever. Yesterday after I sent my emails and Facebook event invites about the JDRF walk, my best friend Reshma called me. Not only does she want to participate, she made a team for her church youth group. I would have been happy with her just coming along for the walk, but this is seriously above and beyond. I’ve known her since 5^th grade and she has always been there for me. She is definitely one of my few friends who I am completely open with about my diabetes. I’ve always said that she was the last person I ever introduced myself to, as a joke, but it’s really true. I knew from the day I met her in music class she was all I would need. I’ve got other great friends, but she is truly the best! Yay for amazing and supportive friends!

I'm off to Philadelphia tomorrow with my sister. She has decided to take this quarter off from law school for health reasons. All of the stress has caused her to feel overwhelmed and also has started to affect her lupus. It will be more beneficial for her take this time off than to keep pushing, which could possibly make her mentally and physically sick. So I’m going along for the ride, while she ties up a few loose ends. I might be able to post while I’m gone. If not I’ll be back with more answers and my 100^th post on Wednesday.

Our Christmas.

This video pretty much sums up the awesome time I had with my family this Christmas, I don't feel like writing about all of it, but I think the video speaks for it's self. The stars are my Aunt Shannon and my cousin Cara! Enjoy!
I'm having a tiny get together on New Year's Eve,
so I'll be back with more on that, sometime next week.
Happy Early New Year Everyone!!!

Ps. You can check out my other google videos (click the "Go to google videos on the player above, then click "More from this user" on the new page) to see more of the karaoke fabulousness!

Thanksgiving...

Today is Thanksgiving. A day that I am sure most diabetics either loathe or just let go and eat, but let's not talk about that. I want to share what I did for my Thanksgiving.

This morning I woke up at 6 AM, earlier than I have woken up in a while. I showered, dressed, and got on with my plans. Double checked my purse for all of my D supplies, printed out the Secret Santa names and wish list, ate breakfast, changed my shoes 3 times, the usual holiday prep. Around 8 AM we hit the road, with my mom asking her signature "Does everyone have the essentials?" before we left the driveway. This is a question always directed at me, and I was ready with my kit in my bag and my pump at my hip. So we were off, and after an hour we were at a rest stop and I got behind the wheel. Before I even turned the key, I check my blood sugar. 95, a little lower than I would like to drive at, I ate 15 carbs and my leg of the journey began. This lasted for about 45 minutes, because even though I ate before driving as I drove through the country roads of Lancaster I felt hot and less focused.
(Amish Horse & Buggy)

I told my mom I needed to pull over as soon as possible, so thankfully within 5 minutes we found a gas station. I checked in at 67, there was a driver switch and Swedish fish for me. After I was back into range I turned on my boy band playlist and the whole family rocked out to my lover's former band.
When we arrived, we were greeted with open arms from cousins, aunts, uncles, and grandparents. We watched 2 parades on TV with the horrible lip syncing, and then it was game time.
(Packers v. Lions, my sister is a huge Packers fan.)

At 1PM we sat down to dinner. Stuffing, mash potatoes, sweet potatoes, vegetable medley, maple sugar brussel sprouts, rolls and turkey is the only thing with no carbs!

After the tryptophan kicked in I plopped into a chair and cuddled up for a 2 hour nap. When I woke up, the wind was blowing outside and it was time for pie! After eating enough pie to feed a small country, it was almost time to go. My little cousin Cara and I began our Secret Santa rounds. I am training her to take over as manager of the wish list and making the little name tags to put in the basket.


Then we headed home, and arrived in time to have a nice dinner of last night's leftover roast beef.

I just want to say that this year, I am definitely most thankful for all of you and the support that you have given me on my road towards better control. Happy Thanksgiving to all my virtual blessings out there!

From my sister on WDD

This is something my sister emailed me yesterday. She asked if I would post it today. So here it is:

Being the good sister that I am/try to be, I was reading Jillian’s blog today and clicked on a few of the other blogs she has links for. I came across an article mentioning Inspired By Diabetes and I thought to myself, maybe I should write something about how Jillian’s diabetes has affected me. So here goes.

These are things I remember about when Jillian was initially diagnosed with Type 1 (I was turning 12 in 2 weeks):

- How scared I was when the school nurse buzzed my classroom and told me to come to the office for early dismissal

- The look of dread on my parents’ faces when Jillian and I met them in the hall

- Going to the dietician and learning about carbs and practicing putting air into insulin vials and drawing it into syringes

- Getting fat because I tried to be supportive and ate everything Jillian was eating for breakfast: eggs, toast, juice, milk, cereal

- Trying diet soda and hating it

These are things I don’t remember about that time:

- My 12th birthday

- Christmas that year

There are things I’ll never forget:

- Jillian screaming while my parents held her down in order to give her her shots. That look of fear was just too much.

- Feeling horrible when I had to help hold her down

- How proud I was of Jillian when she started to give herself her shots

- How proud I am of Jillian for taking control and deciding to choose an insulin pump

- How special it made me feel to be included in her process of researching and choosing which pump to go with (I guess that’s what big sisters are for though)

Now for something I don’t like talking about very much. I used to be very jealous of Jillian. In my eyes, my parents were so consumed with taking care of her, that they didn’t have time for me. It was a lonely time for me. Probably the first time I ever felt depressed. Many times I wished it was me that was the diabetic not her. I wish I could say it was an altruistic thought—that I wanted to spare her from the pain and protect her. But it wasn’t. I wanted someone to pay attention to me, to go out of his or her way for me, to forget everything else for me.

I could never be a diabetic. I pass out almost every time I have my blood drawn. I hate pricking my finger, the few times I’ve actually done it. It hurts sooooooo much. Also, diet soda is gross. (For those of you who don’t know, while I didn’t get my “wish” for Type I, I was diagnosed with Systemic Lupus Erythematosus at age 15, all though it is not the same.). But really, the point I’m trying to make is that diabetes touches more than just the person receiving the diagnosis—it touches siblings, parents, friends, and lovers. On this World Diabetes Day, I’d like to say to my sister and to all diabetics (Type I’s especially) that I’m so proud of you. For dealing with everything you go though in your daily lives with diabetes. You are not alone, you are not the only ones who are aware, and there are others who are just as ready for a cure.

Superstition

Happy Halloween! Let’s go on a trip back to yester year, with Stevie Wonder.

As I stepped onto the Metro car, my trip back in time began. From the tattered orange pleather seats to the laminate section dividers, the ride definitely set the tone for the night. Walking into the arena I can’t say that I as giddy as I was in January when I went to see Justin Timberlake. I could definitely sense that there was a party about to begin. Many women were in their best boots and men wearing fedoras or Kangol hats. The sea of faces varied in color, but not as much in age. I could tell that I was probably one of the youngest people there. We walked to the concessions, paid a whopping 4 dollars for a bottle of Dasani. Then went to find our seats, which were 10 rows from the floor! As the rows filled in, and the lights slowly dimmed you could feel the crowd becoming restless. We waited a worthwhile 30 extra minutes for the show to begin. Stevie came onto the stage in a black suit and red sunglasses, with his daughter (Aisha) in a white dress, leading him to the center of the stage. He told a few jokes and then opened with a duet on piano with Aisha. After their performance she joined the other two backup singers and the show really began! He played almost every past hit you can think of. Rocked out on his piano and harmonica. At one point he was down on his knees singing, then he was standing on his piano bench! The band included a lot of improvisation and audience involvement. The male backup singer stole the show, he pulled off some temptations-esque dance moves that did not fail to entertain. The bassist, guitarist, and drummers all performed amazing solos under the bright spot light. The audience was definitely there to party, with every up beat intro everyone rose from their seats to dance and sing along to well known rhythms. The thing I enjoyed most was when they played medleys. Transitioning from one song to the next, when Stevie told the bassist or guitarist to play a certain note or riff. They performed every song that we chose to wear on the shirts I made, even my parents wedding song. He played one final song, took a bow on both sides of the stage, then walked off into the night with his backup singers and the band.

Horrible!

I realize that I am super horrible about returning comments and just leaving them in general. I am also really bad about reading blogs that are not on the Diabetes Daily Headlines. So. Feel free to harass me about comments, I'm serious. I really do need it, as the connection from comments is really a huge part of the O.C. So to anyone who has commented in probably the last 5-10 posts... SORRY!!! I feel really bad that you take your time to read what I have to say and I don't do anything to repay that. Oh and good luck to those of you who are starting one or both of NaBloPoMo & NaNoWriMo on Thursday. I considered NaBloPoMo, but I just don't think I could do either of them. I don't have enough in my life to write about, and I also don't think I am the best at writing about just anything. Well any who I'm getting excited about singing some off key "Superstition" with Stevie tonight. But shh, don't tell my parents. I have been playing the whole unexcited, you guys are old and crazy routine. Oh I will be taking my Diabetes 365 Picture at the concert.

A Real Post & A Picture.

So I promised you a real post and here goes.

I have been wearing my Cozmo insulin pump for 3 days now. In that time I have learned a lot of things about myself and my new buddy Orin. While I am only pumping saline as a part of what I guess my endo would call "home training" it still is pretty realistic. I definitely think that being young has it's advantages when it comes to using a pump. For instance if this was my mom pumping she would have to pull her glasses from a top her head squint at the screen, and call me to help her. If it was my dad he wouldn't even try and I would be completely in charge of helping him manage this device. I know these things because my mom can't use the remote to our television, and almost every time my dad tries to print something off of the computer he calls me to help him.
What have I learned? Well for starters, infusion set insertion is not the horror I imagined. I sat in the endo's office clenching my teeth through the training in anticipation of inserting the infusion set. Turns out it's a piece of cake. The office's pump trainer was very impressed that I knew so much about the pump, but I guess that's what happens when you have a lot of time in between receiving it and going to training. It only took about 45 minutes to go over everything. At one point she was asked, "Can I at least peel off the adhesive protector on the set so I can feel like I am doing my job?" What else? Oh my dogs are very intrigued by the sound of a bolus. That click click click, has them both staring at my hip in wonder with their heads cocked to the side. Sleeping hasn't been to hard, I just place the pump next to me and it usually stays put. When I am alone in a quiet room, that hiss every 3 minutes as my basal rate is delivered is like a constant reminder that the pump is there and working away doing something my body should be able to do without any noise at all. I will have to say that being a perfectionist is probably not going to help me in this. I am going to want everything to go right, from intial basal rates, blood glucose numbers to every single site change. I will get over that slowly. I messed up tonight will loading the new cartridge and doing the new infusion set. I was so upset for no particular reason except that I like things to go right, and when they don't it seems like the end of the world (ANXIETY). Thankfully my mom was there and told me just to breathe, and I know over time it will become even more routine. Until then I'm still working out the kinks and finding what works for me. Now I just have to get to Friday, so I can start the real deal!

Check Out or Join Diabetes 365.

Comments, Posts, and a Countdown!

I know that over the past few days my posts have not been my usual long entries. I have been preoccupied, but I plan to go back to writing as well as posting Diabetes 365 pictures. I can't promise a long entry everyday, but I will definitely be giving you more than a picture and my descriptions at least a few times a week. If you left any comments on the past 5-6 entries and I did not reply on your blog, I have left a few comments in return on those posts. I am becoming lazy about commenting back, I am working on it though.
So we are entering the final countdown to the saline start on Monday (2 days) and pump start on Friday (1 week). I'm stoked! I practiced wearing the pump to sleep the other night by clipping the cannula off of the infusion set, and attaching it with just the adhesive patch. I put an empty cartridge in the pump to connect the tubing to, and wha lah a little pump practice! It worked out just fine. I am the type of person that has to be informed and prepared before I go to the training. It helps me calm my nerves if I know enough before hand. A less anxious Jillian equals a better day for everyone.
My sister is home for the weekend for a little bonding/babysitting me while my parents are away celebrating their 27th wedding anniversary. So I'm sure it will be a good weekend, I love spending time with her. I may not see her again until Thanksgiving. So happy weekend everyone!