Friday, June 25, 2010

Back down, cash out, that's the city for ya.

I flew solo as a waitress this past weekend. Unfortunately, I started my first day with drama. I ripped my pump site out as I was running out the door. I would have been on time, but the snag made me 5 minutes late. I was greeted at the restaurant with an “I don’t care ‘sweetie’ 8:45 is 8:45”. Talk about starting out on the wrong foot in so many ways. I was angry because I explained the reasoning and the manager was still unreasonable. I felt so angry. I went to the restroom to take a deep breath and to stop myself from crying. I felt so violated.

Thursday, June 17, 2010

A working class hero is something to be

So. I’m still dealing with terrible anxiety related issues. Mostly involving my GI tract acting a fool. I’m worried, because this is the same way I felt right before I left traditional high school. The only thing that’s giving me hope is that I have been able to push through it. I’m still getting up to go to my summer class 4 days a week, and I started my job this past weekend.

About my job... I’m a waitress. So far it’s just been training. Saturday, I kind of followed another girl around while she did her thing. Sunday, I worked with this guy and literally helped him make it through the day. I even overheard the manager say that I was good, just like she expected. But here’s the thing, I had so much trouble managing my Diabetes while running around the restaurant. I’m afraid that if it’s this way when I’m only training, it will be 10 times worse when I’m on my own.


Tuesday, June 8, 2010

I think that keeping this up could be dangerous

I know that there are people out there who don’t believe that anxiety or any other mental health issue is real, but they are. I know from personal experience. If I were to trace it back I’ve actually had some sort of anxiety since I was about 4 years old, and that’s just what I can remember. The thing about anxiety that makes it so difficult is that it takes everything from you in an instant or it lasts like a slow burn....READ MORE HERE

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

I'm gonna make it mine

I finished my first year of college?

I finished my first year of college.

I finished my first year of college!

Exactly one week ago I walked out of my last final of the year. I did it. Me.

I think I’m still in shock that I survived the year. I didn’t just survive. I triumphed. I am my own success story. There have been moments even months in the past few years where I never thought I would type or utter those words.

Today, I turned in one of the worst essays I’ve ever written in my entire life. It was a part of an application to my school’s Honors Academy. I’m not sure what made it bad. I can’t put my finger on it. I think it had something to do with the 500 word limit.

Read more here...